Tag Archives: haiku

False Optics: Keiko’s Haiku Rules (Part Three)

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Haiku in the West has always had a minimalistic bent. Japanese Haiku is inherently a minimal form, but it always has been an even shorter form in English because the early translators who became famous in the West presented it as being something that was both philosophically minimal in its essence and translated it into a truncated language.

R.H. Blythe translated and wrote about haiku as always being about "zen enlightenment" and Kenneth Yasuda distilled this down to haiku always being "an aesthetic moment" that presented precise imagery and nothing else. These are both Minimalistic positions because they are boiling down the whole 250 years of haiku history into only being about one style of writing. Sure, some Japanese haiku was written in this vein, but most wasn't because in Japan haiku is thought of as a poetic form, not a philosophical vehicle.

As for the language they used when translating, Blythe ignored counting syllables and spun out translations with brevity and with such a small specific focus that he ignored a lot of what was written in the originals. As engaging and gregarious as his prose is, there is no argument about him being a minimalistic writer when it came to translation.

Yasuda did write 17 syllables out, but he also rhymed the first and the third lines all the time which doomed him to have little influence how western haiku would be written on the page, but he did have a huge influence in what the poets would write about because he did coin the term "haiku moment" which came to be the defined mindset of what mainstream haiku became.

A "haiku moment" is where the writer concisely writes in the present tense about something in the world around them that they had experienced without any showing what they felt or thought about it. Hence, you just wrote clear imagery and left it up to the reader to decide what it meant. Imagery is an important part of creative writing but deeming that the only thing you can write is imagery is a minimalistic view of writing.

The avant guard in West picked up theses minimal views of haiku and, mixing them in with theories from other writers who explained the philosophy of zen, came to the conclusion that, following the Japanese, they too could only write haiku that presented imagery without any subjective emotions by the author, and also, because Japanese writers never used any, they should never employ any of the poetical devices that western poets traditionally use.

These positions were popularized and enforced by magazine editors who were either determined that haiku in English must remain true to the Japanese prototype or else committed to making sure haiku remained a minimal poetic form. A "prototype" that was a huge misrepresentation of haiku in Japanese.

The impetus for any list of haiku rules that you run into, past or contemporary, is to keep haiku scaled down so it is written to a preset mindset where how you write, and what you write about, is shoved into something that has a nominal range of human experience.

The rules on the Haiku Society of America's webpage are just a set of instructions that demand you minimalize the scope of your writing to conform to the set of conditions they've presented, and if you don't follow them, then the cry comes that what you've written really isn't a "haiku." "Pseudo haiku" is generally the term you run into. Any poet who tries his hand at writing haiku generally gets thrown into the bin of "not really writing haiku" because they don't follow the prescribed style. It's monolithic.

The problem with minimalistic writing is that it can never be more than what it already is. Once you expand your style you no longer are a minimalist. So you are always in a self made box. This is the reason why since the beginnings of it all the haiku magazine editors have fought tooth and nail to keep western poetic devices out of what they publish. They can only be ideological zealots.

People had hid behind the idea that haiku must be written "exactly" in the same style of the Japanese as shown by the early translators, and the myriad of translators that came after that copied them, but in the late 1990s, Haruo Shirane, a professor of Japanese literature, began publishing books and articles that showed how the imbedded western ideas about Japanese haiku were for the greater part wrong.

The main thrust of Shirane's writing was that this unassailable position held by the haiku community that Japanese haiku poets historically never used any established literary devices like western poets did was totally false and that the “haiku moment” idea, now so prominent in the west, was something that had been picked up as a skewed version of Masaoka Shiki’s influence on Japanese haiku in the 20the century.

This sparked an existential crisis in mainstream haiku, the minimalistic approach to writing that had been established had always been argued as a true style of literature because it was under the rubric of following literary conventions from a different culture, thus making it an intellectually valid pursuit. With this cover blown away by Shirane, the question of how haiku should go forward was a hot topic. Should western haiku start allowing the usage of metaphor, allusions, etc… and was it alright if “moments” were imagined rather than experienced directly??

This article by Brian Tasker is a touchstone into how the haiku mainstream wove an argument that would let them keep their intellectual integrity. The rationalizing cornerstone beneath this is that it doesn't matter what the history of Japanese haiku was, or if western writers had ever gotten any of the scholarship about it wrong, the fact was western haiku on its own had made its own traditions.

As Tasker puts it "we've chosen to write haiku as a kind of poetry that stands apart from other kinds of poetry....Even though haiku elude a specific definition, there is still a haiku tradition. A Western haiku tradition and particularly a tradition of haiku in the English language."

Whether or not how sound you find this argument to be, he really isn't talking about haiku per se here, he's is talking about a minimalistic tradition that must be maintained no matter how inherently risky its intellectual foundations are. Again, this is the intrinsic problem with minimalism, it can never expand into something else, it can never grow bigger, it can only shrink smaller. So it's no surprise when towards the end of the article he writes "If we need to experiment, we could experiment by writing less for a change."

Keiko Imaoka gave what these confirmed and committed minimalist craved: a shorter way to write haiku. There's no surprise that her argument about how whittling 17 syllables down to around 11 syllables was necessary to match the content in Japanese haiku was like manna to the haiku community. Besides arguing for shorter writing, it also told them that they would be writing "like the Japanese" as well. Why else would you argue about content per syllable unless you wanted to duplicate the original language? One stone, two birds.

Of course, this is a bit problematic. Japanese people can have trouble getting through sentences in English because their natural breathing during speech is different from English speakers, and this is more so when they encounter longer speech patterns and patterns that have a lot of diction in them.

The only way they can get through them without stumbling is to break their speech pattern into segments that use beats to mark where the speakers takes breaths. Her writing about "writing in 3-5-3 syllables or 2-3-2 accented beats" is symptom of this. It doesn't mean that if you follow this beat pattern you are "writing like a Japanese," it means you are writing like a Japanese who is communicating in English.

You only have to look at her comments in the section titled "Relative Ease In Segmentation" where she clearly doesn't understand how English speakers navigate line breaks or punctuation breaks in the middle of lines. The reason why she can't navigate the second version of the haiku with a comma in the middle of the line is because she doesn't know how to breath words into speech without having a pattern of beats running through it. This is prevalent in her prose too.

The effect that "writing less" has had on the haiku community is that it changed a lot of haiku writers away from the 17 syllables that they were writing out to produce a shorter style of haiku. Shorter haiku means that the language becomes snappier and imagery is lit up more, but when you write "in the vicinity of 11 syllables" you kill the linguistic flow of your words and you flatten out speech to the point where you can't produce diction and everyone has same the tone in their words.

Imaoka wrote about how she was captivated by English language haiku and found that it was "just plain and simple language that even grade school kids could understand."
Her call for shorter haiku just compounded this situation because it means longer words would be harder to include in haiku. Again, an automatic limiting that mainstream haiku writers were more than willing to accept.

Imaoka honest appraisal of western haiku as being "plain and simple" and understandable by "grade kids" is the very reason why mainstream literature has never accepted haiku as a serious form of writing. Tasker explains that “At their best, haiku are truly subversive: they question all the notions of creativity which poets hold so dear” as a salient point, but English language poets have historically been subversive and questioning about their creativity too. That's why there are different eras. It's not about being different, it's about how you use language in being different and presenting moments in grade school kid language isn't going to impress many people into believing that what you're writing is worthy literature.

By the 2010s the rise of the internet led to the situation where people from different language backgrounds could co-mingle, which has led into a giant influx of English as a second language writers into the haiku world. There wasn't much self reflection about how this was possible, i.e that the language bar was at such a basic level that non-native speakers could excel at the same level as a native speaker. So foreign writers flourished, were praised, and were published in numbers.

Given that a second language speaker only has to follow this minimal style of haiku, it shouldn't be surprising that it happened. Haiku is so short now that grammar no longer matters. If you go through the online archives of the longtime e-zines you'll see how this is true. Sentences have evaporated into simple phrasing. The reason of it: Minimalism can only go one way: simpler and simpler.

Just to show how monolithic minimalism is in haiku, some people are now arguing that Keiko Imaoka's rules are the standard of what haiku is in English and that all haiku written in 17 syllables really aren't haiku. I hope that these three essays about this subject show how these are suspect rules that deserve inspection before you accept them.

Also, I think it's important to know that all the information the mainstream haiku establishment gives you about their genre is really instruction on how to practice minimalism. It's something you should understood and the reason why, if you ever decide to write a haiku, it is OK to write any style, or any device, you want, just follow the form of 17 syllables with one break in it. This is the one true definition of haiku you'll ever need.

False Optics: Keiko’s Haiku Rules (Part Two)

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Now that we have an understanding of how Keiko Imaoka only had a basic grasp of English grammar, it's time to turn to her statement of how "17 English syllables convey a deal more information than 17 Japanese syllables.”

She also relates how "many bilingual poets and translators in the mainstream North American haiku scene agree that something in the vicinity of 11 English is a suitable approximation of 17 syllables, in order to convey the same amount of information".

The problem with these statements is that there is no written article that shows how this true. So it is a hypothesis that really has no proof to back it up. It shows how haiku scholarship in the west has a history of taking things at face value, especially if it is a native Japanese who espouses them. 

By saying "bilingual poets and translators" I think it is probably a safe bet that she means native Japanese speakers who were active in English language haiku circles. It's all well and good to listen what a native Japanese has to say about haiku written in the English language, but it's another thing to simply take what they have said without critically judging it.

Having gotten the grammatical explanation of English quite wrong, it's very possible "the translators" could have gotten the syllabic equivalency part wrong as well. As far as I know, there isn't anything in print that explains the how and whys of English haiku needing to be shorter than 17 syllables. 

So for now, the only thing to do is to look at the way Keiko Imaoka translated from the Japanese into English to see if we can discover the process which shows the reason why for shortened syllable counts.

The statement of "convey a deal more information" is an extremely difficult one to prove unless you go through a dictionary. The problem with taking things out of a dictionary is that you don't get direct translations, you get the equivalent in English, which is a different thing. 

Every language has it strategies and thought processes in putting thoughts and emotions into language, including different ways to express the same things, i.e. polite language, slang, implied language etc..and as varied as these can be in your own language, they will be doubly so when translating from another language where cultural differences are thrown into the mix.

Cultural differences usually mean different ways of seeing things and the translations that Imaoka uses to show how 5-7 structure is a natural act for Japanese speakers clearly shows this. The first example she gives is a slogan used during World War II to show how the populace at home is willing to accept sacrifices for the war effort:

hoshigarimasen(7) katsumadewa(5) : "we want nothing till we win (the war)"

Leaving the horrid grammar of this translation aside, slogans in English tend to be short, snappy and rhythmical in nature to catch our attention: "Want not, 'til victory's got"  So yes, we naturally shorten thoughts to make it catchy and easy to remember, but this isn't so for Japanese speakers where elegant phrasing is what makes it memorable and pleasing to the ear: "We don't want anything until it has been won." 

So, by using proper grammar to translate trying to catch the manner in which the Japanese actually express this sentiment, it ends up with the syllable count that only doesn't match the original because I've used a contraction in making the negative part of this statement. 

Other cultures react to different language cues because words have overtones that express implications that are imbedded in native speakers. 

kono dote-ni(5) noboru-bekarazu(7) keishichou(5) : "Do Not Climb This Levee - The Police Department"

The word "bekarazu" shows that the order posted on this sign is stated by an authority that has the right to issue it. So, a translation that tries to incorporate that would be something along the lines of :

"You must not climb upon this embankment: The Metropolitan Police Department"

where we end up with 21 syllables.Of course, posted signs in English never are written like this because short, direct, pithy statements are commands which we naturally expect: "Posted Property","No Entrance","No Trespassing" etc…

Aphorisms and proverbs can have the same meaning but the way of stating them are different. Because of Shakespeare we are familiar with this:

owariyokereba(7) subete yoshi(5) : "All's well that ends well"

But the sentiment in Japanese is expressed a little differently:

"If the ending comes out as you like, everything is well," which is 2 syllables more syllables than the Japanese. 

This suffers from a lack of articles:

hotaru-no hikari(7) mado-no yuki(5) : "the light of fireflies, snow by the window"

"The lights of the fireflies, the snow by the window" which counts to 13 syllables.

Turning to Imaoka's haiku translations:

yuku haru-ya (5) tori naki uo-no me-ni namida (12) - Basho
spring passing -
birds cry, tears in the eyes of fish 

"The passing of Spring! The birds cry, tears are in the eyes of the fish." Which is 16 syllables. 


neko-no meshi shoubansuru-ya (12) suzume-no-ko (5) - Issa
sampling the cat's food -
a baby sparrow

The Japanese verb of "shoubansuru" doesn't mean "sampling" as translated above, it means "accompanying a main guest at a meal or a feast and be treated with hospitality," which usually means it's for free.

"Accompanying for free the cat at its meal! A baby sparrow."  17 syllables. 

This translation seems to me to be childlike in its construction, so let's put into an adult like phrasing:

ware-to kite asobe-ya (9) oya-no nai suzume (8) - Issa
come play with me -
you motherless sparrow

"Come along and play with me! A sparrow without any mother." 16 syllables.

uguisu-no naku-ya (8) chiisaki kuchi akete (9) - Buson
uguisu singing - (uguisu : a nightingale-like bird)
with the small mouth open

"The bush warbler shall sing! Its tiny mouth is opening….”

Base verbs usually indicate the future tense in Japanese, which is why I used "shall" in the above. 14 syllables. I could have went with "is going to sing" which would have made it 17 syllables as well and would make it more poetic in tone.

dou owaretemo (7) hitozato-o (5) watari-dori (5) - Issa
hunted mercilessly
migrating birds still
fly over towns. 15

"Even though hunted they still come where humans are, the migrating birds”which is 17 syllables.


Looking at these examples, it is hard to see anything that supports the contention that 17 syllables in Japanese amounts to around 11 syllables of information in English. 

Of course, it's easy to compact down the English language down to fewer syllables because we often use condensed language for effect, but that doesn't mean English is inherently shorter than Japanese because we can express the same amount of information in longer sentences as well. 

Native Japanese speakers tend to have trouble with articles on nouns in English as well as with assonance and tone because their language doesn't have these tools of expression in it. Although their language does have a conjugation system for verbs that works similar to our use of auxiliary verbs, they often have problems with the implications that come when we use them. Just because the use of such things make English seem "longer" for them doesn't really mean that it really is.

Putting things into proper sentences, using articles on nouns and various auxiliary verb usages doesn't make English inherently longer, it means it just has different strategies to present and share information and emotional responses to this information. Proper use of language also means elegant expression.

This whole "too much information" argument really isn't about difference between the language, it's is about the use of "minimal" language in English language haiku because it makes it easier for Japanese people like Imaoka to digest and experience what they are reading.

The question of Minimalism has always been around in English language haiku. It plays a big part in the reason why Keiko Imaoka's article has gained credence in the haiku community which I'll discuss more about in the third part of this essay.

False Optics: Keiko’s Haiku Rules (Part One)

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False Optics: Keiko's Haiku Rules (Part One)

In the mid-1990s Keiko Imako wrote an essay that has been influencing haiku written in English since. It is the document that informs the style of haiku that you'll find in any mainstream haiku publication either in print or on-line.Imaoka is a surprising candidate for being the intellectual leader of haiku in the west. She tells us that she had to learn Japanese literature in school, begrudgingly so, to borrow her own phrase, and since traditional Japanese were verse forms seemed boring and irrelevant she could never imagine herself ever writing in them.

 Her interest in haiku started after she came to America where she found that "There was no specialized vocabulary, no archaic grammar to contented with in English haiku; just simple and plain language that even grade-school kids could understand." So, how does someone with minimal training in Japanese haiku become the voice of how it should be written in the English language?

She did it by comparing the abilities of both languages and arguing that Japanese is a much more grammatically flexible than the English language because it's grammatical particles make it possible to for word units to be rearranged in many ways "without altering its core message." This "remarkable malleability and redundancy of the Japanese language…allows for a multiple of options in expressing a single thought. In languages such as English and its relatives whose grammar are heavily dependent on word order, haiku must and will take a much different form from that in Japanese.”

This "remarkable malleability" stands in contrast to the English language which "owes much of its grammatical simplicity to the fact that the word order plays a major role in determining the relationships between words and phrases (subject, object, etc.). In such a language, words and phrases cannot be moved about freely without changing the meaning of a sentence.”

The reason why the Japanese language has this malleability is "because of grammatical particles (joshi) that are suffixed to nouns and mark their syntactic relationships, word units become independent and can be moved about more freely without altering it's core message." 

Ok, but doesn't the English language have things that attach "to nouns and mark their syntactic relationships" too? We call them articles though, and we what we call particles can not only relate to nouns but with verbs as well. And we also have pronouns that mark relationships. These are part and parcel of our grammatical structure, so how does having particles (joshi) make Japanese more malleable than English?

Imaoka gives this statement sentence as an example, "Mother gave it to the kitten" and states that these "words cannot be rearranged without altering the meaning," and follows up by giving six examples of how you can do that with this sentence when it is in Japanese.  But, isn't the idea that in English this sentence can't be rearranged a bit preposterous?

Mother gave it to the kitten.
Mother, to the kitten, gave it.
To the kitten, mother gave it.

The core meaning hasn't been changed at all. We can change things around because the particle, the article and the pronoun in this sentence mark out relationships that make units which can be moved, the exact same thing that Imaoka tells us that the Japanese particles do.

As for the number of ways you can change this sentence, the English language has more articles than the Japanese so if you replace "the" with an "a" in the above you' ve now reached six ways of stating the sentence. "It" is a pronoun that can be changed because the Japanese word of "sore" (it) which Imaoka used can also be translated as the pronoun of "that," so between using the two articles and two pronouns it's now up to at least twelve ways of rearranging and maybe more because using "that" means they are more ways to rearrange the grammar than there is with "it”. 

I came to Japan in late 1990, which is in the same time frame as when Imaoka wrote this article, and it was weird the way the learned class over here saw the English language. They all had studied it from junior high school through university, in same cases still after, and for some reason that gave them the confidence that they understood English as well as they understood their own native language. The general consensus was that English wasn't as sublime as the Japanese language, which is what Imaoka is really telling you when in the article she writes "more flexible", "grammatical simplicity", "more freedom", "further flexibility", and "a multitude of options in expressing a single thought.”

At first, back then I would bristle at some of that inane comments about the English language that were made by some Japanese interested in English, but in time I just started laughing at the farcical nature of it. It is very presumptuous for a speaker of a second language to instruct a native speaker about the grammatical structure of their birth language.

Of course, this was over thirty years ago and Japanese ideas about how their language is more tactful than English have disappeared and the acknowledgment that English is as sublime as their own language is widely accepted now, but this article, which still has relevancy to how haiku is perceived and written, was written back in time when there were certain attitudes that colored Japanese people's minds about the English language. The only way to react to the statement by Imaoka of "the available options in English would be "Mother gave it to the kitten yesterday," and "Yesterday, mother gave it to the kitten," is to understand it as being nothing more than a rudimentary understanding of English grammar.

The Japanese school system spends a lot time drilling formal English grammar into the students because the verb in Japanese is always at the end of the sentence, making English, where the verb is in the middle, a difficult language for the Japanese to learn. Imaoka writing that English is "heavily dependent on word order" is a symptom of this. 

Having a strict "word order" makes it easier for her understand our language but native English speakers don't need as much "ordering" as she does and can and do break the rules to speak intelligently and convey meaning to others. Colloquial language and poetic license are a huge part of the way we converse and create expression with a multiplicity of meanings, things which Imaoka was limited in using. 

Plus, Japanese speakers have a lot of trouble with intonation, which is how a native speaker expresses emotion into words, a thing that is naturally brought out when we invert grammar, which is the "multitude of options in expressing a single thought" that Imaoka states as our language intrinsically lacking in comparison to her own native tongue.

She also told us that "17 English syllables convey a deal more information than 17 Japanese syllables," a statement which will be examined in another essay. But, the point of this first essay should be clear enough: Keiko Imaoka didn't understand English grammar well enough to write authoritatively about it.

An Inapt System: Romanji

Learning any second language is a daunting process, but with Japanese, where the written language is so radically different than the way English speakers write, this is more so. Native Japanese speakers themselves go through a long hard mastering process, from elementary school to high school, on how to read and write Chinese characters, which makes it doubly a struggle for anyone who is a native speaker of a language that is written in a simpler phonetic script that is much easier to remember.

To mitigate this supreme obstacle, a system that is called "Romanji" has been developed to allow the international community a way to escape this roadblock of language and be readily able to experience the Japanese language accessible on the terms of the English language.

The problem with this turning of Japanese into English is that it is an imperfect solution to the problem because there are sounds in the Japanese language that an English speaker does not naturally produce. 

The Japanese don't exactly pronounce vowels the way we do, so you need a pronunciation guide to be able to fit Japanese into an English language type of writing system, which is why you'll find of many online lists like this explaining the Japanese phonetic pronunciation against how vowels are sounded in English:

"a" as in "father" which is spoken as "ah" since the "t" is silent here
"e" as in "bet" which is spoken as "eh"
"i"  as in "meet" which doesn't quite match phonetically
"o" as in "story" which is spoken as "oh"
"u" as in "shoot" which is another phonetic mismatch


In Romanji, every Japanese vowel is given an English phonetic value that doesn't quite match how it is spoken. In other words, it's an inexact reproduction of Japanese vowels into an English syllabary so non-native Japanese speakers don't have to struggle to comprehend it. This can lead to some confusion when you try to compare the languages when using the Romanji system.

It's easy to find on the internet a lot of places that argue that since the Japanese word "Tõkyõ" is counted as four syllables in Japan, but is changed into the two syllable "Tokyo" by English speakers, is proof that there is a big different in the syllable structures of the two languages. Is this true? 

If you check out the Japanese syllabus at the head of this post, you see that for the most part the Japanese count syllables as consonants with vowels attached just like we do. The vowels are different, we know, but they aren't accurately being reproduced into our English syllabary for them. So how does this effect the way they are being reproduce for English speaker consumption?

The syllabic different between the Japanese and English pronunciation for Tokyo is predicated on the difference between the two "o" sounds spoken in the word. The fact is that if you took an English speaker without any knowledge of the Japanese language and stuck them in the middle of city of Tokyo had them say "Tokyo" not many native speakers in Japan would understand them, and the same would be true if you did the same with a Japanese speaker and put them in an American city and had them say "Tõkyõ" in perfect Japanese. (Equally true with baseball player names.) 

The reason why this happens isn't because there is huge syllabic difference the two languages, the reason is because the word isn't being pronounced the same. If you want to get a better sense of how the word is spoken and heard by Japanese speakers, you have to fill in the vowel sounds as explained by the list above, which gives us the word "Tohookyohoo". Now, you too are pronouncing the word as four syllables.

Of course, once you start rendering these truer phonetic equivalents into English you get a messy scrambled language which makes it very difficult for the second language reader to pick up. Let's use this famous haiku as an example:

Fooroo eekeh yah Kahwahzoo tohbeekohmoo meezoo no ohtoh (17)

Furu ike ya Kawazu tobikomu mizu no oto (16)

It is certainly much easier for an English speaker to navigate through the second example than the first, the reason being that the second is putting the Japanese into a writing system that follows the set expectations of the phonetic sounds that are attributed to the letters of the English alphabet. However, that doesn't mean it is an accurate reproduction of the phonetics sounds of the Japanese language.

I'm not arguing that the phonetic style of transcribing should be favored over the Romanji system in use, but I do think that it is imperative for anyone studying Japanese literature to be aware that the current Romanji system isn't a true representation of the sounds of the Japanese language and if you want a better understand of the syntactic diction of Japanese literature it is better to start incorporating authentic phonetic renderings into your studying.

The same is true for all the loan words from English which are now in Japanese too, the reason why a one syllable word like "spoon" gets expanded into "supu-n," which counts as four, is because the Japanese language doesn't have the "sp" consonant blend and must get creative to capture how the word sounds in English

This expansion of this word into a four count might seem drastic but, as someone once explained to me, the loan words borrowed from English are Japanese words now and should be treated as such, so if we treat this as a native Japanese word and put it into its phonetic Romanji form we get' "soopoo-n" which isn't so large a difference anymore and is only a two syllable word for English speakers. 

The Japanese language doesn't have "sp'" in its verbal lexicon, in fact, every word in Japanese that begins with "supu" letter combination is a loan word from another language. Plus, since Japanese is a basically a syllable stressed language where each syllable generally carries an equal time value, it also has to set up speech strategies for words that come from timed stress languages like English where syllables are both scrunched and elongated. 

Speech is the use of breath to put words into the air and every language has internal standards that allow speakers to do this naturally without having to take excessive pauses for breath. When a syllable stressed language imports words from a time stressed language not only does it have to contend with sounds foreign to it, it also has to deal with being able to use it in phrases where it doesn't break the natural linguistic flow of the language. Which is why "spoon" explodes into "supu-n" when it is used by the Japanese and why they abbreviate the longer syllable words they borrow from English.

This expanding, and deflating, of words to fit lexicon is proof that there is a measure of syllabic time difference between English and Japanese by the stopwatch, but we don't count syllables by the stopwatch. If we did we wouldn't count shorter words like "a" and longer words like "scrunch" as having the same syllable count. Instead, we count by vowels informed by consonants, which is the pretty much the same way the Japanese count their "mora".

The only difference in counting is that the Japanese have the bare word ending sound of "n" without any vowel that they count as one, whereas we always count "n" as being connected to a vowel, and they also count double consonants as one, which we never do, which is insignificant in the overall scheme of the two languages. 

Once you get over the inherent obstacle given by Romanji's inability to give the true representation of vowel sounds in the Japanese language you see that both syllables and mora do weighed equally by the same scales of counting. Only now do have the correct values to question what syllable length the Japanese poetic forms, i.e. haiku, tanka etc, should be when written in the English language. 


Zo: The Kireji of Conviction

With a few haiku, I hope  will show how the particle of "zo" adds poetic depth to haiku by adding emotional coloring into the phrasing that it is attached to. So, besides being a "kireji" which cuts a haiku, it also modifies meaning by including the emotional state of the writer towards the scenes they are writing about.


"Zo" as a particle shows that the speaker feels strongly about the subject at hand. In the Book "The Japanese Language In Haiku”(俳句における日本語) by Keiroku Yoshioka (吉岡桂六) its meaning is stated as being an utterance that“strengthens assertions and expresses feeling into what the speaker is informing the listener about.”There is this simpler explanation in Classical Japanese, A Grammar”by Haruo Shirane: "is used to strengthen a statement or a question.” 


In other words, it means to speak with conviction, and for an English speaker that means using tone to lay deeper meaning into words. So, I'd guess the best way to understand it's function is to think of it as dropping the tone of conviction into language of haiku. This haiku by Yosano Buson is a perfect example of it being used as an expression of a felt emotion:


去年よりまたさびしいぞ秋の暮 (蕪村)

This is a phonetic rendering of the haiku:

Kyohnen yohree mahtah sahbeesheeee zoh / Ahkee noh kureh

And this is the Romanji that puts it into a more discernible form:

Kyonen yori mata sabishii zo Aki no kure 


Feeling lonelier than
it ever did last 
year, 
the end of autumn.


Japanese use bare adjectives to depict emotional states, i. e. lonely (sabishii), whereas English speakers have to include a verb ( i.e“It is lonely.) to make sense to the listener, "to be lonely" is an emotional state, but "to feel lonely"  is to express that state in a stronger manner. 


"Mata" in Japanese means "again" and in this context can mean "extra" as well, since the speaker is making a comparison with the past it is implied that Buson was lonely the year before too. My translation into "than it ever did" is trying to bring out the sense of pathos using "zo" colors into this phrasing. 


"Aki no kure" can also mea "an evening in autumn", but since the haiku mentions time in the broader sense of a year, I find it hard to make any readings connected to the event of a single evening.


Besides using a tone of conviction to express our own deeper emotional states, we also use it when offering encouragement to others as well as when we feel urgency in conveying information to another person; times, I guess you could say, when we feel that we have to make ourselves heard. So do the Japanese.


Shirane describes "zo" is used "to indicate that the speaker is teaching the listener something: "It's a fact that …."“I want you to know that …." and proffers up that an exclamation point should be used to follow these up. This haiku by Kobayashi Issa is an interesting use of how "zo" functions in such a manner:

けふからは日本の雁ぞ楽にねよ (一茶)

Kehfoo kahrah wah neepphohn noh gahn zoh / rakoo nee neh yoh 

Kefu kara wa nippon no gan zo Raku ni ne yo


Today hence
you are
Japanese geese!
So settle comfortably down.


My translation is attempting to use voicing and rhyme to catch the quiet conviction one might slip into to bring home a point to someone, and the last line is trying to catch the tone of empathy that the use of the particle "yo" brings to the last line of the haiku. "Yo" is a particle but is not a "kireji" and is very colloquial (which is something that, as this piquant haiku shows, Issa was extremely deft with) and is used as a expression of sympathy. 


The haiku is about the migrating flocks of geese who show up from Siberia to spend the winter in Japan and Issa is welcoming them back as they end their long flight to his land. 


The two books above also mentioned that "zo" is also used to indicate a question, Yoshioka explains this usage as "when used at the end of an interrogative, the sense of asking a question is signified." Since we will use a tone of conviction when asking questions about something that we either doubt or are surprised about, it's quite easy to understand how this particle does the same for the Japanese. 


Yoshika uses this by Ishida Hakyou as an example haiku:

秋の夜の憤ろしき何々ぞ  吉田波郷

Ahkee noh yoh noh eekeedohohrohshee / nahnee nahnee zo

Aki no yoru no ikidooroshi Nani nani zo

An 
exasperating
night in autumn:
oh why oh why why?


The first thing to note is that that word "nani" is an interrogative pronoun and is followed by "zo" to denote that as question is being posited. 


Late Autumn nights in Japan are quite chilly, and the shock of them can be a bit troubling, especially when the daytime has been rather pleasant and sunny. Rather than read this haiku as being a complaint about the weather, it’s a bit more interesting to read it as being a metaphor, i.e. the night is as exasperating as the feeling you have when you are moved to utter the invective that makes up the last line. I’m attempting to catch the alliteration of the original and hoping to express the conviction within it by adding in a third "why" into the last line. 


Another example haiku Yoshioka uses to show "zo" functioning as a question is by Abe Hikari:

つばくろの塒いづこぞ山に月  阿部光

Tsoobahkooroh noh nehgoorah eezookoh zoh / yahmah ni tsookee

Tsubakuro no negura izuko zo Yama ni tsuki  


Places the swallows 
can fall asleep in
is where?
Moon on 
the mountain.


Here again, an interrogative pronoun "izuko" is followed by "zo"  to form a question. 

Tree swallows often nest in cavities of standing dead trees, so they can be in places where there isn't much leaf cover, which is being implied here to show how bright and wide the moon is out this night. By placing "where" at the end of the opening statement, I'mm bringing out the sense of conviction that is used when we ask questions about things that either surprise of confuse us as it is in the haiku above.


This isn't one of the most popularly used "kireji" but I think these examples shows how it adds meaning and flavoring to words, which is akin to us when we turn diction for poetic effect. That's why they are essential to Japanese haiku and any book in Japanese that discusses the whys and hows of haiku will state they take language out of the realm of the ordinary and turn it into poetry. If you want to truly understand Japanese haiku, you need to pay attention to the particles and verb endings that are "kireji". Only then will you catch the wonderful poetry of it.

Review of a Review of “Wintermoon”

This article popped into my Facebook feed and for some reason and I clicked on it and was completely amazed by it. I have never seen such a long and endless bit of mental masturbation in print before. I must admit, I do admire Mark Richardson’s stamina.

I should have realized that this review was going to be a piece of self glorifying fantasy by the opening paragraph where the reviewer tells us what kind of poetry he is conversant with. How does this show this review will be a fantasy you ask? Well, anyone who has been around mainstream free verse haiku knows that it is, and has been historically, anti-poetry to the core. That it isn’t “western poetry” is exactly why the people who write it get interested in it. The idea that this book of haiku by Robert Maclean is something on the par with the famous poets that get mentioned is nothing but one serious wet dream.

It’s obvious by the way he writes that Richardson is pleasantly involved in mental onanism. Such pondering as “I don’t doubt that poetry gets in”….“But I can’t be certain”….”Perhaps I’m sensing, or fabricating, a temporal problem”…..I’ll take a flier and guess that we are to hear these lines in two ways:”…..”What can this mean?”….”Is there a slight imprecision here?”…etc. are from a writer who is self flagellating himself to bring himself to a climax about things.

I don’t ever believe I’ve seen a literary review that had so many self asked questions in it. You would think a writer who finds himself with so many questions about what they are reading would eventually stop and realize that what they are reading is vague to the point of having no meaning. But, of course, if you enjoy beating off your brain and you have the time, why would you ever stop?

Richardson states that “I enjoy poems that argue or imply arguments,” by which he means, I’d guess, that he likes poems that make him think, but in this essay he is confusing writing that is expressive, thus moving him to contemplation, with writing that is so vague that he has to think about what it says because it actually expresses next to nothing. Yes, thinking over things is great fun, but there is a difference between thinking that emotionally moves you onto deeper truths and thinking that titillates you.

Titillation is exactly what mainstream free verse haiku is all about. The writer whores his words into stunted language, making it a kind of word porn that the reader takes to plug in their own experiences or personality into. Be honest about it, isn’t that whole point of actual pornography??

Every top off comes with a big ending, and here, well it takes quite awhile to get there. It starts when he compares Maclean’s “harmonic crickets” with John Dryden writing about the heavenly harmony that created the universe where he goes off on playing harmonics on a guitar, which are three complete different things that only make sense in Richardson’s brain. 

I’m sorry, but you can’t say Maclean isn’t “a pessimist or a cynic” when he actually doesn’t give you any tone of language to judge it. That’s how we express things. Finally, (but impressively in length I’ll add) after making some reference to a famous pop album, quoting William James about religion in a extremely long paragraph and waxing how “healthy-mindfulness” this book is it’s time to pass the tissues. 

Sorry, but I’m not convinced that always writing thoughts through stunted language is a sign of a healthy mind that communes evil to its place in the world. And you can’t argue that Maclean is just copying the sparse language of the Japanese because the Japanese understand their sparse language in a much deeper way than we understand sparse language in ours.

To be fair with Mark Richardson, he did write that he’s “new to the game” (of haiku) and that he’ll  “ask questions and cover ground not strictly necessary to a book review,” but he certainly fell into the revery of getting himself whipped into a frenzy over a love (poetry) who clearly isn’t here.

Why else would he end the essay with the statement “Whatever gets you through the night is all right.”?? It seems you’d have to spend many a sweaty lonely night to get any poetry out of this book and that unconsciously he is admitting it.

BUSON ー TWILIGHT SUN

遅き日や雉子の下りゐる橋の上

Osoki hi ya Kiji no ori wiru hashi no ue

The long spring twilight sun!
A pheasant
is gliding down over
a bridge.


There is a double kigo here because pheasant “kiji is also a reference to spring.


The are two characteristics about Japanese pheasants relative to this haiku. Sunlight flashes off the up side of their wings, noticeably during flight, because, being ground birds, they aren’t the world’s best aviators and have to flap quite a bit when airborne, and another extension of this poor flying ability is that when they want to land they simply stop flapping and with outstretched wings glide down to a landing. This descent is usually a much longer protracted glide in contrast with other birds. 


Here’ s a great video of a pheasant taking off and landing.





It’s easy enough to understand the tenor of the kigo and the vehicle of the aloft pheasant that carries it once you understand how to imagine the image after the break. Plus, the flash in a pheasant wings as it flies also ties into a metaphor of the sun. Anyone in the world understands the experience of the longer days in spring and how the sunlight can simply linger and linger until the dusk finally fades away.


Every Japanese commentator I’ve ever read comments on how beautiful this imagery is, and I find it so beautiful that it is hard to move past the imagery to flesh out the inherent metaphor buried in it. That’s how great of a poet Buson was.


My first impulse was too see the pheasant fly straight down the course of a river and be over a bridge now, but since a landing would be so protracted it’s probably unlikely that a pheasant would dare to come above a bridge parallel to the water. So, it’s direction must be crossing over a bridge from bank to bank. Since the pheasant is coming down and is over the bridge, then it is going to land on side of the river it is facing. Does it face you or face away from you? Facing away completes the metaphor, doesn’t it?

BUSON – FIRST FROST

Hatsushima ya Wazurafu tsuru wo tooku miru

Cranes migrate from the colder climes in Northern China and Siberia to spend the winter in Japan. Their arrival are considered a sign of the start of winter weather. The fall of the first frost makes Buson realize that the cranes will soon be arriving. 

There is no real future verb tense in the Japanese language and the dictionary form of verbs are often simply used to imply it, especially for the near future.  The use of the exclamative kireji prioritizes the first frost in Buson mind, which means the later verb is to be meant to be read as a future action. 

If he had placed the ‘ya’ at the end of the phrase about the cranes seen afar, then you could read the haiku as stating that the cranes come on the same day as the first frost. 

It is interesting that Buson used the adjective “worn and suffering” to sketch out the image of the cranes clearly. I think that this haggard condition of the cranes would be more noticeable after they have completed migration and are spending more time on the ground than in the air, so Buson must be sketching from prior observations of the cranes. It’s almost impossible to see the actual physical condition of birds while they are upon wing. 

I find Buson’s ability to mix personal memories into the scenes he writes about makes him a very unique poet. It allows him to create haiku with a spacial and temporal range that other poets can’t match. He was a man who not only saw the world around him, he reacted to it in a way that was vital and alive within it.

Art work by Akemi Karkoski, translation by James Karkoski

Buson – Fallen Plum Petals

紅梅の落花燃らむ馬の糞    与謝蕪村

Koubai no rakka moyuramu uma no fun    Yosa Buson


Probably it’s 
what’s making the fallen red 
plum petals blaze:
horse shit.


The two interesting things from a writing standpoint is the use of the verb ending  “ramu” with no actual kireji employed by Buson. 


“Ramu” is a conjugation that expresses speculation about the something in the present, 


Buson is wondering about why the fallen petals seem redder and the explanation he finds is that the horse excrement they have fallen to makes them stand out more. Fresh horse droppings are a solid dark dung pile and things that land on top of them usually stand out with depth. I like to imagine that it was Buson’s own horse that has left the now adorned poop he is admiring.


It has been argued that any letter in the Japanese syllabary can be used by as a kireji because voicing can make cuts without any of the established kireji used. We can end any phrase or sentence with any letter of our language depending on the context or grammatical pattern the final word is used in, so can the Japanese. Indeed, all of the self proclaimed puncuation-less haiku in English is proof of this being true.


I contend that the “moyuramu” followed by “uma”  makes a “mu - um” voicing that forces a slight pause between the two sounds and this is just enough a cut in the phrasing to call it one. If you don’t agree with this assessment, then your translation of the haiku would move “horse shit” to being placed right before “what’s” to get the uninterrupted flow of having no break.


I think having the break is the whole poetry in this haiku because I have to work through a line of thought before I can see the main image of the blazing red petals. After I reading the haiku, I must to stop and first see the dark horse shit in my own mind before I can move on to 
see how it’s making the petals seem brighter, a process that in the end leads me to see the redness of the petals in sharper definition. In my mind, this sharpness is lost if you decide to ignore the break. The power of the break is what makes haiku poetry.


Needless to say, the fresh invention of using the disparaging image of dung to bring out the beauty of the red petals has made this a very memorable haiku.

Buson – Warbler Mouth Opening

うぐいす の啼くやちひさき口明て   与謝蕪村

Uguisu no naku ya Chihisaki kuchi aite     Yosa Buson


The bush warbler 
will let 
loose it’s call! 
It’s mouth is slightly opening …


The first thing to notice about this haiku is that ‘ya’ is placed at the the eighth counting spot, breaking the haiku in an unusual spot.


‘Ya’ is an interjectory particle that functions, to quote Haruo Shirane, “as a light exclamation that creates overtones.” Here it functions to alert the reader that Buson is excited about his realization about what the bush warbler is about to do.


‘Ya’ can be used at any break in a sentence and in haiku and it is usually used in the 5th counting spot to highlight the kigo or placed at the ending of phrasing at 12 to bring attention to the description there within. 


“Kana”, the other exclamatory often used, is an ending particle that always occupies the 16th and 17th spots in haiku. It carries a little more emotional weight that ‘ya’ does, and since it is always is placed last it gives the poet a anchor of sound to write the syntax of the rest against.


Having the written the above I’ll add, “ya” represents an intellectual reaction to something whereas “kana” shows a deeper emotionally charged state of mind.


This is a famous haiku that shows all the qualities of Masaoka’s Shiki’s ideas about ’shasei’ sketching from life style of writing that could be found in haiku history, making Buson a poet whose brilliance Shiki brought to the modern world’s attention. It is also argued that all the ‘i’ sounds that are in the phrasing after the break are a harkening back to Matsuo Basho’s keen and clear aesthetical style of poetry in contrast to what was being written before Shiki’s influence.


As for the meaning, well, any bird must open its mouth before it sings, but if you check out any video on-line of Japanese bush warblers singing in the wild, you’ll notice that these birds will always slightly open their mouths, pause, and then open wide to belt out with their notes. I’d imagine they first open up to gulp air into their lungs, enabling them to get the unusual volume of sound they produce. Buson must have had caged warblers and have spent time watching them, which is why he gets excited when one first breaks its beaks, he knows it is building up for a song!